From the title of this post, you may think my culinary adventures have taken me into the realm of salads, but alas, my food-exploring playing piece is stuck firmly in soups for a little while longer. No, this post is about my favorite salad place in Des Moines and my LEAST favorite salad-maker. I've dubbed her Cranky Salad Lady (CSL).
Palmer's is my absolute favorite lunch place near my office. Their salads (as in bow-tie pasta, primavera, and crunchy cabbage salads) are absolutely amazing and I get one every single time. Their lettuce salads are great too. Chicken caesar, no olives is my staple. But I'm having an issue with CSL who works the salad counter. She's there about 90% of the time, and no matter how nice I try to be, she always cops an attitude! I'm afraid to customize anything for fear of her icy stare. And it's not even like I want to change everything about a caesar salad so that it looks like something completely different either! I simply want a chicken caesar, no olives. Apparently that becomes difficult for her.
It's almost like a game now. Each time I walk up to the counter, I'm mentally steeling myself for a barrage of icicles to come shooting out of her eyes. I'm determined to get my order EXACTLY right, so she will have no opportunity to question me with hatred.
Today, I want to beat CSL.
I cringe as the older woman in front of me is berated for not specifying she wanted her dressing on the side. Now CSL must haughtily dump the entire mixing bowl of lettuce and all the trimmings into the garbage and begin again. Slamming the bowl back down on the counter, the old woman jumps. Literally. I want to give her a hug.
CSL hands the woman her salad with a snotty "Thanks" and I prepare to order my salad with absolute precision and perfection.
ME: "I'd like a small chicken caesar salad without olives to go, please."
This is perfect. It's all the information she needs. I just stuck this salad-ordering landing.
CSL (with contempt in her voice): "You want croutons?"
DAMN! I forgot about the croutons! Why is this so hard!? I'm trying to make HER job easier and she STILL finds away to make me feel like a child.
I take my salad with my tail between my legs and happily order my side of bow-tie pasta salad with the Santa-like gentleman at the salad case. If this man is so friendly, how did CSL make it through the hire-screening process!?
On a happier note, my meal from Palmer's is always excellent. I will continue to eat there. I just have to find a better way to order a salad. I've literally sacrificed people and let them go in front of me to be served by CSL so that I could have a different server. Am I the world's worst salad patron or what!?
We will meet again, CSL....I long for the day you are silent as I order my salad and then hand it to me with a sincere smile...then I will have won.
